So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
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it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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