So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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