i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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