So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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