You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
