alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
