I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
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Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
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After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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