We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize