I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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