wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
i believe in u and ur pee
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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