that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
