this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
