I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
