I don't usually arrange sex via text message
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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