I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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