You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
