I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
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