just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
