Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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