i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
We need to get me chipped asap
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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