By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
