Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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