so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
