The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize