just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
