I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
