theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
