Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize