Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
