I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.