There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position