Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
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So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
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We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job