They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...