Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.