he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
meet me or not, i'm out of control
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
