i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
