I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize