I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
