I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
