He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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