Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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