But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
