I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Nicole vs. Life
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
