She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
