I heard we made out
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he shaved USA in his pubs
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
