: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize