i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
