the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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