I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
it glows. i had to have it.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
