I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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