And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
