new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
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In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
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I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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