I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
