We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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