he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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