Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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