i already hear my dad disowning me
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
