oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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