i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
