Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
she told me i tasted like america
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
