covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
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they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
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Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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