someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
