My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
