Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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